A recent power outage during school lead to one of the most interesting conversations in my journalism class. With no light or internet available, our professor decided we get together in a circle to get deep and try to learn more about each other.
Towards the end of the class, we were all told to write down a question we have always wanted to ask someone in the room. Our professor read the questions aloud.
Shockingly enough, one of the questions was for me. I was nervous to know what the question could be. Someone asked something along the lines of, “How do you manage to remain calm under stress?”
I answered as honestly as possible but somehow left the class pondering the question. I guess I didn’t say all I wish I would have said, so here’s my chance to get raw with you guys.
I am not perfect and I am okay with that. As I grow into the person the universe and God has set me to be, I have learned to accept my ugly truths and try to make them beautiful. One of them I would say is my ability to hide what I’m truly feeling or going through.
I am very conscious about keeping my problems to myself only because I want to find solutions for them on my own. Growing up with a single mother who has dealt with many obstacles, yet has conquered them fearlessly, has inspired me to become an independent young lady. Through her obstacles she has managed to be strong for both me and my sister. Because of this, I feel like I need to be strong for myself and others around me. I don’t want people to worry about me. I want to be that shoulder for someone else to cry on.
How do I remain calm? My pen. Writing has become a way for me to de-stress. When I don’t feel strong enough physically, she becomes my strongest weapon. Being brutally honest with what I write and how I feel opens my eyes to the forgotten, which my mind often ignores. I start to think about what I should be grateful for which then leads me to prayer.
I strongly believe in the power of prayer. No matter how big or important my problems may be, I pray for strength and guidance to get through them. However, I believe strength is much more important because for me, I want to be able to be strong not just for this moment but for the rest of the curveballs life often throws at us.
What I really want to get across is that I am not perfect. I go through shit too. I might manage a little different than others, but it’s something one must learn about themselves. And if you’re still struggling and need help finding that, I have a shoulder for you to lean on.